I believe that the main pro of in vitro fertilization (IVF) is that parents who are originally unable to conceive have the opportunity to experience parenthood and bring new life into the world. However a major con of this process, is that unused embryos are typically disposed. Catholic teaching states that human life begins at the moment of conception, when the egg and sperm unite to form an embryo. In IVF that union occurs in a petri dish. When doctors create these unions, several embryos are formed, but the ones that go unused are either frozen or destroyed. For the Church, the destruction or demise of an embryo during the IVF process is the unnatural ending of a human life, similar to an abortion. Additionally, treatments such as IVF can be extremely expensive. In the article, the Burnetts went through IVF 11 times at a total cost of more than $100,000, with no success. They spent so much of their money on a procedure that did not even reward them with a child. I think the Church makes several valid points in their teachings on IVF. Dignitas Personae, particularly, explains that all IVF procedures threaten or actually end the life of an embryo. However, I cannot help but put myself in the shoes of the infertile parents. If I were ever in such a predicament, I think that IVF may be a viable option for myself and my spouse. God put men and women on this Earth to spread His message of unconditional love through procreation. If I was biologically unable to have a child of my own, I would want to use the science available to fulfill God's vision. After all, He must have created the men and women who invented the science behind IVF. The cost of IVF somewhat impacts my opinion on the morality of the practice. Because the procedure is so expensive, only very wealthy couples can afford to create a child of their own through medical means. Middle-class and poorer couples cannot pay for such an exorbitant process. Does this mean that only wealthy infertile couples should be able to have children of their own? If a couple wants to have a baby that is biologically their own, they should have access to every means available, regardless of their financial status.
In the movie He's Just Not That Into You, a variety of individuals deal with a multitude of romantic issues. Two couples in the movie particularly caught my attention, because many of the problems they dealt with are related to our course material. The relationship between Gigi and Alex, as well as the problems suffered by Beth and Neil are quite relevant. Gigi is a single woman who repeatedly misreads "signals" from her dates. She perceives every kind gesture from a man as an indication that he is romantically interested in her. She befriends Alex when she stalks another man, Connor, to a bar. There, Alex reveals to Gigi that there are several strategies men use to avoid a woman. He explains that if a man is interested in a woman, he will find a way to see her again. Neither Alex nor Gigi exhibit healthy dating skills at the start of the movie. Gigi constantly seeks out men to make her happy, because deep down, she is insecure. Because of this, the overanalyzes every move a guy makes and is absolutely desperate for affirmation. It is not until Alex gives her a reality check that she begins to gain confidence and security in herself. I do not think Alex's approach to dating is necessarily good either. He sees women as "disposable," because he believes that there are plenty more women out there just like them. He fears commitment, and is very hesitant to put himself out there. He is unwilling to be vulnerable, because he has seen vulnerability take a negative toll on the people around him. Although being vulnerable may lead to pain, a lack of vulnerability will never lead to love and intimacy. Beth and Neil are another couple in the movie who can be related to course material. After seven years together, Beth wants to get married, but Neil does not believe in marriage. Although they live together, Beth believes marriage is necessary to consecrate their union. But, when she confronts Neil about this, he is insistent upon not marrying, and they break up. I think this situation highlights the dangers of cohabitation. Beth had always thought Neil would want to marry her, so she stuck around until her impatience got the best of her. However, as the movie progressed, Beth saw that Neil had been a better husband to her than her sisters' real husbands. She finally recognizes that the relationship they share is everything she could ever hope for from a marriage, built on trust, respect, and loyalty. An important message that I took away from this couple was that a marriage licence is not the only thing that can consecrate a bond between two people. Everyday acts of kindness, support, and love are essential to an affectionate and committed relationship.
I think that the "domestic church" has been the main source of my knowledge of God and Catholicism. Growing up, my parents took me to Church regularly, but as time passed and my other siblings were born, our attendance began to wain. However, my mom had grown up with strong, strict Catholic ideals, so she did her best to instill a sense of God within each of us. She was the preacher of faith through word and example for each one of my siblings and I. She taught us how to understand and apply the teachings of the Church that she found most vital to living a happy, healthy life. My mom always reminded me to be a "Jesus person" and live the way Jesus would. Based on the clip from "He's Just Not That Into You," it is apparent that the structures and compositions of families and marriages are changing. Some of the pros of this morphing structure may be that people do not feel restricted by past ideals, and they are more open to express their love in the ways that they see fit. However, I believe that the cons outweigh the pros. Because the composition of families and marriages are changing, people don't feel as pressured to supply their loved ones with the support and foundation that is encouraged by the traditional marriage and family structures. Children who grow up with a single parent may not be as socially or emotionally well-rounded, because they only had one parent to teach them how to interact with society. Also, couples who are not bound by marriage may see their 'unofficial' relationship status as a way out. I think that the article had good intentions, however, I do not believe that the author provided enough evidence to back up their claims. They made promising conclusions that sounded accurate, but the material presented was not necessarily fact-based. For me, I am hopeful that the energy an individual puts into education will make him/her more future-oriented, and he/she will have
greater self-control and hope for an upward mobility. However, this may not always be the case. I have always thought that better education allowed individuals to be more financially stable; but even with this stability, couples can still deconstruct over pressing issues that are money-related. I have always felt compelled to establish the domestic church in my future home, because I think the Church was spot-on when they realized that the family is where much of a child's knowledge is learned. There are many principles that are taught in the church that I would want my children to know and believe. I think it is my responsibility to make sure that my future children experience love, forgiveness and trust within their own home.
In my personal opinion, I do not believe that dating is 'essentially practice for divorce' as many 'anti-daters' argue. Despite negative messages from media and entertainment industry, I believe dating is a practical element in preparation for marriage. Without dating, it may be difficult to decide if someone is a proper lifelong partner. However, the 'anti-daters' did make a valid argument by claiming that much of the dating world has taken an "on to the next one" mentality, in which people have multiple partners with no real lasting relationships. This may lead to an increase in divorce rates; yet, I am still not convinced that we need to revert back to traditional manners of dating. I agree with Freitas and King's assertion that dating can teach people how to love and take responsibility. But, this would not be very effective against recreational dating. I have definitely noticed a change in the dating culture as I have moved through high school. Freshman and sophomore year, dating was not very serious, but as I reached Junior and Senior year, I noticed that more people were interested in long-term relationships. But after graduation.... then what? Typically couples that were once so dedicated to one another will break apart due to long-distance issues. Additionally, there is a certain freedom that accompanies your first year in college. You are exposed to a completely new set of people, and it is natural to want to experiment and not be tied down. Although, this sense of "freedom" is typically abused and college students take things way too far. The term "hooking-up" becomes blurry, and serious forms of sexual expression become casual.
I was slightly hesitant to ask my mom to share about her relationship with my father, because I thought I knew everything there was to know about their marriage. I had heard countless accounts of how they met and when they were engaged, so I was not sure I could really learn anything new about their relationship. Fortunately, I was completely wrong!
When my mom spoke about how she and my dad were engaged only six months after meeting, I began to question how such a successful relationship could have been solidified only after a few, short months. However, my mom thinks that their quick-paced relationship worked because they were both very dedicated people who would remain determined to make the relationship last. The overarching theme of this seemed to be that no matter how long two people are together, it is not worth anything if one of them is not committed to making the relationship endure.
Another interesting point my mother made was that there are many small things you can do to show the other person you care. My mom does countless mundane chores for my father, but she knows that he really appreciates her efforts, so she is happy oblige. This dynamic works when gratitude is reciprocated, because it serves as motivation for affection to continue.
Although my parent's relationship does not look anything like Beyoncé and Jay-Z's marriage (unfortunately), they seem content with their day-to-day lives. One television show that is relatively accurate in portraying several different types of relationships is Modern Family. My parents' relationship reminds me a little bit of that of Phil and Claire Dumphy (except my parents are not nearly as entertaining). They are slightly dysfunctional, my dad's a little goofy, and my mom's a slightly strict, but they love one another, and they accept each other's flaws.
A song that connects to my parent's love story is "I'll Never Let You Go" by Steelheart. Not only was this their wedding song, but it also an accurate illustration of how committed and dedicated they are to one another. One line from the song is "you're the only one for me, you're all I need / and I'll never, never let you go." Over the years, they have had their obstacles, but they recognize that despite their imperfections, they make each other happy, and they want to spend their entire lives together. Since my parent's relationship was quick to take off, another line from the song that is also applicable to their relationship is "first time I laid my eyes upon you, all my dreams were answered." It was not too long after my dad laid eyes on my mom that he decided she was the one for him.
In dating/committed relationships, I have found that I seek a variety of qualities and characteristics in love. I believe it is vital to evaluate the logistics of a relationship when I am looking for commitment. However, on an emotional level, I look for someone who is willing to lay a foundation of trust and honesty. I believe that once two people can be vulnerable around one another, they can experience a variety of intimacies that will allow the relationship to grow and strengthen. Although Eros love is passionate, satisfying, and pleasurable, I seek the Christian ideal love of Agape. I believe that this type of love is better sustained over time, because lovers share a selfless love that is concerned entirely with the well-being of the other. Although, the music industry today has its own take on which types of love are the most fulfilling:
1. In Jennifer Lopez's song "If You Had My Love," she contemplates the idea of being vulnerable with her lover. She wants to trust this individual, but she worries that he/she will waste her time, lie to her, and tell her that they are in love, when in reality, they are not. This song sends the message that you must be careful before you trust someone completely.
"If you had my love / And I gave you all my trust / Would you comfort me / And if somehow you knew that your love would be untrue / Would you lie to me / And call me baby"
2. I think Phillip Phillips's song "Gone, Gone, Gone" is a beautiful portrayal of a man's Agape love for another. He would go to the ends of the Earth for the person he loves, and even after he/she is gone, he will still love him/her because they are his everything. This song hints that we can find an unconditional, selfless love that makes us more concerned for the other person than for ourselves.
"When enemies are at your door / I'll carry you away from more / If you need help, if you need help. / Your hope dangling by a string / I'll share in your suffering / To make you well, to make you well."
3. Ariana Grande's song "The Way" deals with the initial "honeymoon stages" of a relationship. She is infatuated with her lover and thinks about him/her at all hours of the day. The message of this song is that love can be really exciting, and it can become somewhat obsessive during the initial period of getting to know one another.
"You got my heart, don't know how you did it / And I don't care who sees it, babe / I don't wanna hide the way I feel when you're next to me"
4. In Jason Derulo's song "The Other Side," his friendship with another individual turns into a romantic relationship. They had built a relationship based on Phila love, but throughout the song this love seems to turn to Eros love. This song sends the message that romantically charged relationships can be formed from the trust and vulnerability developed through friendly relationships.
"And I know we ain't friends anymore / If we walk down this road / We'll be lovers for sure / So tonight kiss me like it's do or die / And take me to the other side"
5. I believe that Beyoncé's song "Smash Into You" is heavily based on a form of Eros love. She is very passionate about her lover, and she is consumed with the desire to be with him/her. The message in this song is that some forms of love have the ability to absorb you, and you may no longer value much else besides your lover.
"I find myself in love racing the Earth / And I'm soaked in your love / And love was right in my path, in my grasp / And me and you belong"
I think that many people are confused as to what love truly is. When they look for a soul mate, they search for someone whom they love, who loves them, and who will make them as happy as they can possibly be for all time. However, this can hardly be a reality. I do believe in soul mates, even after reading the article "Pure Sex, Pure Love," but I do not agree with the common definition of "soul mate" that was described. When people feel like they have found their soul mate, they make this individual the center of their universe. They set extremely high expectations of the person that can almost never be met. I know that such expectations will make a successful relationship impossible. Your soul mate may make you cry, they may ignore you, and they may hurt you, but they are human, and humans make mistakes. It would be foolish to assume that everything would be sunshine and daisies from the moment you locked eyes. However, a soul mate is willing to stand by you even when things become difficult, and you both will work through your issues together.
1) Through a multitude of mediums, I have been taught that women have a certain place in society. We are meant to be the 'weaker' gender, dependent on men to provide for our every need. Women are often portrayed as emotional, innocent, and flirtatious in films, music, and books. Young girls are first introduced to their gender expectations through movies about princesses and damsels-in-distress geared toward toddler-age children. The animations in these movies show young women in figure-fitting gowns with bright colors; they adorn their ears with diamond earrings their necks with pearl beads. Disney movies taught me from a very young age that women are meant to be 'pretty' and men will take care of the rest.
2) My grandfather may be one of the most sexist people I have ever met. I do not see him very much, but when I do, I am expected to be in a dress, and if he were to need anything, I would be required to serve him. However, his expectations of my brother are very different. He has taken my brother on skiing and hiking trips that I would have loved to have been included in, but I am a 'girl', and it would be unladylike for me to partake in such activities. Although my dad truly believes I can accomplish whatever I want in life, he has unfortunately inherited some of his own father's opinions on how each gender should behave in society; however, he is not as hard on me as he is on my brother. Last October, my brother's football team wore pink socks to support Breast Cancer Awareness, and as a donation, the team's coaches asked the parents to pay for the socks. Although, my dad refused because he did not want my brother to wear pink socks. Also, when my brother was in second grade, he made a special Valentine's Day card for my mom. His school teacher had each of her students put on lipstick and kiss the paper to make "kiss imprints" on the page. My dad was infuriated that the teacher allowed my brother to wear lipstick, a female cosmetic. My brother feels confined to his masculine gender role, because of my father's and grandfather's expectations of him.
3) Attending an all girl's school has honestly been a blessing. I used to think there was something wrong with girls who didn't love "girly" things, and I felt pressured to be as girly as possible so I wouldn't stand out. 8th grade Rachel would pile on layers of make-up and spend hours trying to find outfits that would make her look "pretty." But today, I am comfortable with who I am and I do not feel the need suit preconceived gender roles. Currently, I think that identifying myself as a woman is empowering. In a world that is majorly male dominated, I believe that being a woman differentiates me and gives me an alternative perspective on many issues. I believe that the Mount has fostered this attitude and has allowed me to see myself as a founder who can do anything just as well (if not better) than a man. I think that in college and throughout my career I will be more likely to assert myself and ask questions because I have attended a school where my gender was not viewed as a road block to success.
4) In a romantic relationship, I generally follow many of the traditional "expectations" that my gender places upon me. However, I do so because I choose to, and I genuinely enjoy these ideals. For example, I love to cook, so I think it is fun and enjoyable to invite a boy over and cook for him; it's my way of showing that I care. Although I would not be opposed to a boy cooking for me, it is not what I would expect, and it would not really allow me to do something that I enjoy. Additionally, I typically expect young men to hold the door for me when we are out together. It is a sweet, simple gesture that has transpired throughout the years. I think it;'s an adorable, not completely necessary, act that makes me feel "lady-like" and special. Expectations such as this can be traced back to times when women were viewed as solely "domestic" creatures, only capable of mundane household chores like cooking and cleaning. Women were often dependent on their male counterpart for protection and financial stability, so they were treated as the "weaker" gender, even in relationships. Although these "traditional ideals" may appear to be anti-feministic, in reality, they are not, because I am enjoying the activities I choose to take part in. I think that I model certain behaviors from a variety of romantic relationships in my family. My parents' relationship is largely based on traditional ideals (my mom cares for the children, cooks and cleans, while my father earns the family income and is expected to fix household items when necessary). However, one thing I really like about my aunt and uncle's relationship is that when they were dating, they always split the bill. My aunt never expected my uncle to pay for every drink or meal, and although this may be untraditional, I think it helped the couple learn the importance of sharing and compromise. I believe that a traditional relationship with a modern-day twist is the right fit for me and my relationships.
