He's Just Not That Into You...

       In the movie He's Just Not That Into You, a variety of individuals deal with a multitude of romantic issues. Two couples in the movie particularly caught my attention, because many of the problems they dealt with are related to our course material. The relationship between Gigi and Alex, as well as the problems suffered by Beth and Neil are quite relevant. 

       Gigi is a single woman who repeatedly misreads "signals" from her dates. She perceives every kind gesture from a man as an indication that he is romantically interested in her. She befriends Alex when she stalks another man, Connor, to a bar. There, Alex reveals to Gigi that there are several strategies men use to avoid a woman. He explains that if a man is interested in a woman, he will find a way to see her again. Neither Alex nor Gigi exhibit healthy dating skills at the start of the movie. Gigi constantly seeks out men to make her happy, because deep down, she is insecure. Because of this, the overanalyzes every move a guy makes and is absolutely desperate for affirmation. It is not until Alex gives her a reality check that she begins to gain confidence and security in herself. I do not think Alex's approach to dating is necessarily good either. He sees women as "disposable," because he believes that there are plenty more women out there just like them. He fears commitment, and is very hesitant to put himself out there. He is unwilling to be vulnerable, because he has seen vulnerability take a negative toll on the people around him. Although being vulnerable may lead to pain, a lack of vulnerability will never lead to love and intimacy.
      
       Beth and Neil are another couple in the movie who can be related to course material. After seven years together, Beth wants to get married, but Neil does not believe in marriage. Although they live together, Beth believes marriage is necessary to consecrate their union. But, when she confronts Neil about this, he is insistent upon not marrying, and they break up. I think this situation highlights the dangers of cohabitation. Beth had always thought Neil would want to marry her, so she stuck around until her impatience got the best of her. However, as the movie progressed, Beth saw that Neil had been a better husband to her than her sisters' real husbands. She finally recognizes that the relationship they share is everything she could ever hope for from a marriage, built on trust, respect, and loyalty. An important message that I took away from this couple was that a marriage licence is not the only thing that can consecrate a bond between two people. Everyday acts of kindness, support, and love are essential to an affectionate and committed relationship.